


this christmas comes with healing

by sunflower_writes



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 911 Christmas Fic, Buddie Christmas Fic (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Eddie Diaz Heals, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan Buckley is a supportive husband, M/M, Married Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28259655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_writes/pseuds/sunflower_writes
Summary: “It’s just the holidays, Buck...I think about Shannon a bit more this time of year and this trip is just making me think about her more. We always said we wanted to come spend Christmas in the snow.”
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	this christmas comes with healing

**Author's Note:**

> part of the 911 christmas calendar on tumblr: merry911xmas

It was Buck’s idea to spend the holidays at Big Bear this year. 

It was their first year as a married couple and Buck wanted to spend it with just the three of them. Chris had been begging Eddie to go see the snow since they first moved to LA, but with the very little wiggle room in Eddie’s schedule, he was never able to comply with Chris' wishes. 

So when Buck brought up the topic during dinner, which he now knows was a bad idea, Eddie agreed. Chris was over the moon, going on about how many snowmen they were going to build and how many snow angels he was going to make; Eddie had to bribe him with two bedtime stories and Buck’s pancakes for breakfast just so he could get him to finish his dinner. Chris talked about it for weeks after that night. He sat with Buck as he looked for accessible cabins that were suitable for his needs, which took hours because, as Buck said, he wanted to make sure that Christopher could enjoy the weekend without them having to worry about him getting hurt. Chris also talked about how much hot cocoa they would drink—even suggested they get matching pajamas. 

So here they were, a few weeks later, the three of them piled up in Eddie’s truck on their way to Big Bear. Chris was dozing off in the back seat and Buck, who insisted he drive because he was better rested and knew the way, was focused on the road as he rambled on about something that hadn't fully caught Eddie’s attention—he was too busy lost in his thoughts as he stared out at the scenery of snow-covered trees that sat at the bottom of the ditch. 

“Hey, Eddie? Earth to Eddie!” Buck said in a sing-song voice, taking a second to look over at him. It wasn’t unusual for Eddie to zone out of a conversation once in a while, but he’d been doing it a lot recently and it was starting to worry Buck.

Eddie jolted lightly, turning to look at him as he took in a deep breath and stretched, “Yeah, sorry about that...just thinking, is all.” he murmured, offering him a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Eddie blamed it on the holidays because even after three years of Shannon’s death, he still felt a slight ache in his chest when the holidays came around and this year made no exception. He figured it was because they were going to the snow, something Shannon and Eddie had talked about a few times when they were younger and still living in Texas. 

They were about ten minutes out from their destination when Buck spoke up again, noticing the far off look in Eddie’s eyes, “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. “It seems to be a daily thing recently, you getting stuck in your head and I just want to make sure you know you can talk to me about it.” giving his knee a light squeeze before his hand returned to the steering wheel after the road started to get bumpy again. 

Eddie looked at him briefly, looking to the back seat to make sure Chris was still sleeping, “It’s just the holidays, Buck...I think about Shannon a bit more this time of year and this trip is just making me think about her more. We always said we wanted to come spend Christmas in the snow.” 

“Eddie, you know you could have told me if this was too much for you right?” Buck said, pulling into the driveway of their cabin and looking over at him. “I wouldn’t have minded, I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up to you before dinner that day.” 

“Buck, it’s okay, honestly. You don’t have to apologize, you know I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I wasn’t a hundred percent okay with it. Plus Christopher has been wanting this for so long and I wasn’t going to deny him this.” Eddie smiled, cupping Buck’s cheek and bringing his hand up to plant a kiss on it. “Come on, let's get the things inside so we can get settled.” 

It only took a few minutes to get the things in, Eddie’s truck overloaded with all the things that Buck thought were going to be needed for their stay. “I got Chris settled into one of the rooms down the hall..” Eddie sighed, joining Buck in the kitchen. “..and yes, before you ask, I made sure the bed was clean before laying him on the bed.” he continued, pointing the bottle of pringles at him with a knowing smile. 

“Hey, even if it was the best reviewed cabin on Yelp, it doesn’t necessarily mean clean.” Buck countered, looking at him with a playful glare. 

“Buck, I think that’s kind of the point of Yelp reviews...” 

“Uh- you know what, nevermind.” Buck muttered, laughing softly and rolling his eyes as he put all the snacks away. “It’s still pretty early, Chris has about an hour of sleep left in him, given you woke us up at six in the morning so we wouldn’t hit traffic. What do you want to do until he’s awake?” Eddie asked, leaning against the counter after he was done putting away the refrigerated foods. 

“We can cuddle on the couch and take a nap, if you want.” Buck suggested, looking at him with a small smile playing on his lips. “Come on.” he murmured, grabbing Eddie’s hand and leading him toward the living room couch and cuddling him into his chest. “If at any point, you need a few minutes for yourself, you just let me know. Okay? I won’t mind it, I can entertain Chris on my own.” Buck whispered after a while, running his fingers through Eddie’s hair. 

Even after years of knowing each other and knowing Buck’s love language, Eddie couldn’t get used to someone wanting to help him. He wasn't taught to depend on anyone if he needed help, he wasn’t taught to ask for help either, he was taught to fight through it and figure it out on his own so when Buck let him know he could step away if things got hard for him, he didn’t know how to answer. His words got caught in his throat and all he could do was hug him tightly and whisper a small “thank you.” into his ear. 

They laid in each other's arms for a while, Eddie could feel himself falling into a slumber when he heard the sound of Christopher’s crutches coming from down the hall. “Hey, bud, how’d you sleep?” he asked, sitting up and looking at him with a smile on his face. Christopher offered him a grin, walking over to the couch and sitting between them. “Can we go out into the snow?” 

“We have to get some food in you before we go.” Eddie chuckled, smoothing out his curls before getting up. “Come on, let’s get breakfast ready and then we can go enjoy the snow.” 

They all made breakfast together. Buck made pancakes while Chris dropped the blueberries onto the half cooked batter, Eddie manned the bacon strips and eggs. They ate together, Christopher basically jumping out of his seat as he talked about the many things he would do once he went out into the snow. After breakfast they all got dressed into warmer clothes and their snow boots, Buck grabbing a sleigh on his way out so he could pull Chris up the hill if he got tired. 

They spent most of the day out in the snow making snow angels like Chris wanted, Buck found a small slope where they could slide down with the sleigh and they even built a huge snowman at the end of their driveway. It was dinner time now, all three of them were dressed in matching plaid pajamas, showered, and ready to relax for the night. Eddie made his ‘famous’ primavera pasta for dinner and they were all currently in the kitchen making cookies, “I think we should make more of the Snowflake cookies, Bud. You’ve got a lot of hearts and Christmas trees going on there.” Eddie laughed. 

“We can never have too many Christmas tree cookies, Dad.” 

When the cookies were done, they sat on the couch and watched a Christmas movie while drinking hot cocoa with these cute little snowman marshmallows Buck had found while doing their groceries. It wasn’t until Eddie saw Chris yawning every few minutes that he decided it was time for bed, knowing his son well enough to know that he was fighting his sleep to stay up with them. “Come on, Bud, time for bed.” He murmured, picking him up and carrying him to his room with Buck trailing behind. 

They both read him a bedtime story, Buck kissed him goodnight and headed to their room to get the bed ready while Eddie tucked him in. “Alright bud, good night. Sleep tight.” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Chris’ forehead. He was closing the door when Chrotopher’s voice stopped him, “Hey, dad?” 

“Yeah, Bud?” 

“...I miss mom.” Chris murmured, looking at him with a look that Eddie couldn’t pinpoint. “Hey, it’s okay...I miss her too. All the time, some days more than others and that’s okay.” he smiled sadly, giving Chris a tight hug and pressing kisses to the top of his head. He stayed in his room until Chris fell asleep, comforting him and letting him know that it was okay to miss Shannon. When he was sure Chris was asleep, he shut the door quietly and wiped away the stray tears that left his eyes and sucked down the ache in his chest before making his way to his own room and slipping into bed, careful not to wake Buck.   
\----------  
The next morning, Eddie woke up to an empty bed and the smell of pancakes in the air. He got out of bed and ready for the day, pressing a kiss to Buck’s cheek as he sat down for breakfast. It was Buck who broke the silence, offering a smile to them as he spoke. “I was thinking of going on a walk behind the cabin, that trail that leads into the forest. What do you guys think? Maybe we’ll even see some bunnies.” 

Eddie gave a small nod, taking a sip of his coffee while Chris squealed at the thought of seeing bunnies. So after breakfast, they were off for their walk and it didn’t take long before Buck noticed how quiet Eddie was when he suggested he take Chris to find some firewood for the fireplace. Eddie silently thanked him, watching them go another direction and he continued his walk on the trail. He was lost in thought, thinking about Shannon and how life could have been different if he hadn’t pushed her to her breaking point. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been walking for, but he knew he was pretty far away from the cabin. He was surrounded by nature all around and for a moment, Eddie found himself at peace—and that was when he saw it. The single flower sitting on a tree branch before him, the only one blooming from the rest. It was yellow, a color Eddie associated with Shannon. He wanted to believe it was a sign from her, letting him know that she would always be there for them and to stop feeling guilt over something he couldn’t have controlled. Eddie cries for a while and he feels better when he’s done, the ache in his chest isn’t persistent anymore and he feels at peace. 

On his way back to the cabin, Eddie finds a small tree with a free sign taped to it. He knows the cabin owners have ornaments for their disposal, so he takes the tree back with him. He surprises Chris and Buck with it and they spend the rest of the day in doors, decorating the tree and watching movies while drinking hot cocoa.

Christmas morning, they wake up to it snowing and Chris makes them rush outside to see it close up. Everything looks soft, the trees and bushes covered in untouched snow—it almost looks like a winter wonderland. Chris is trying to catch snowflakes on his tongue, Buck is looking up at the sky while the snow falls and Eddie can’t help but snap a quick picture. There’s a snowflake sitting on the tip of Buck’s nose and Chris is laughing in the background of the picture and Eddie doesn’t feel guilty anymore. 

He allows himself to enjoy this moment and every moment after it and he knows, when next Christmas comes around, it won’t hurt as much to think about Shannon.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @softboiidiaz


End file.
